

I got a massive boner from this amazing find, hiding the tape in my coat pocket along with my large and hard woody.Īfter finishing my job for the day, I hurried home and popped this fantastic tape in my VHS player while popping myself some Orville Redenbacher's popcorn, cooking a Christmas ham, and reheating some leftover burritos from Taco Bell, ground beef smothered in taco seasoning, shredded lettuce, diced tomato, sour cream, and a delicious coating of melted cheese. "Did I just come across an early version of Toy Story?" I muttered to myself. WE NEED MORE SHARPIES" written in black crayon. "JL" standing for director of Toy Story, John Lasseter. "THE NEW TOY, 1992" was scribbled in black sharpie with the words "PLEASE DESTROY -JL :)" under it scrawled in silver sharpie. I happen to stop by Pixar Animation Studios on my usual route, but nothing interesting has come from their dumps until today when I stumbled across a certain VHS tape at the bottom of their dumpster. I grew up loving the Toy Story franchise, still owning my original Buzz and Woody toys to this very day. Fucking little shits ratted me out every time. I'm also a genius mathematician who has been kicked out of every university I've lectured at because I stole chalk from the classrooms. It's a dull job, exactly 93.4527% of the time.

Be judgmental all you want, I gave up giving a shit a long time ago.Īnyways, I ate some breakfast, fed my cat Adolf Hitler, and went on my usual morning commute, working as a trash man. That's right, I am not afraid to admit it, I am a bed wetter.
